Indescribable Feelings

It has been two months. Oh well, suddenly being so emotional, dafuq. Hate myself for being like that, I don't know when only I can get over all this things. I can't breath. I thought I'm always good at hiding, hide all my sadness in the deepest place. I thought I'm good at pretending, pretend that I don't even care. I thought I'm good at avoiding, avoid everything about you. But, I hate myself for being so useless. I viewed your facebook, I viewed your blog, I view, view, view, and still view.. WHY I CAN'T GET OVER ALL THIS! dafuq. -.-v Don't judge me just by viewing all the check-ins, photos, you will never understand my feelings, even when we were together, you don't care. No matter who I went out with, who I talked to, I still feel very empty in the inside, no one can give me those feelings, I lost that feelings already, I miss those days, I miss those feelings. No one else like you, although you treated me badly. 

The reason why I never cry since you left, I guess until now you still don't know why, this really disappoint me a lot. You won't understand that pain, oh, maybe it's called numb, the heart that feeling numb already. You can't imagine how disappointed I am. Before that, you were arguing with me for almost two weeks sharp, dafuq. -.-v How could you..... 

I feel like crying now, I wish I can, everyone's telling me that it's not worth it, I should move on. Yeah, right, move on. I need time, time heals everything, I guess time can also heals the wound in my heart. I wished you were here with me, I miss you a lot. Now, I will only keep everything in my heart, because I couldn't express my feelings, no one will understand how pain my heart is. I have to wear a smile on my face everyday, to pretend that I'm strong, heh. ;) 

I keep on telling myself that I will meet someone better than you, I deserve someone better. But I guess, as long as I'm still holding all this memories, I will never move on, yeah, so..MOVE ON? I can't, right now, I really can't. Yes, I'm telling everyone that I'm fine, I'm happy, but I'm not at all. I still think of you sometimes, dream of you. Well, dream and real-life is always opposite, so..yeah, it will never happen anymore. Still, I'm wishing you all the best. I know you're having a great and wonderful life now, glad to know that. ;)

With loves, xoxo.